priswongx0

page 49

2012-02-18T18:16:00.001-05:00

woke up from a little nap just now, and i feel really grumpy. no idea why. BLAH.

too many random thoughts running around in my brain right now.

- moving on with work, not going back to mcd, fck that shit.
- i want pho
- wearing earrings again cus i don't want the back to close even though it hasn't in the last .. 4 years .. and they're bugging me T_T
- if i'm right, and that chick is the ex, bahaha... no comment :)

.. really want pho thoughh >: (

& i still find my way back to Unlove You - Elise Estrada.

SIGHS.

2012-02-15T02:14:00.001-05:00

Ummm... Wonder what this is supposed to mean...

Wednesday Feb 15 2012

One small change can make a huge difference, Gemini. For example, the career you choose, the person you marry, the neighborhood you settle down in - all of these things can directly change the course of your life. But sometimes even the most seemingly innocuous choices can lead you down an unexpected path. An upcoming decision may not seem like it would have the potential to be life-changing, but it could be. Think hard about a choice you make over the next week, for the difference it makes could be amazing. Consider it with great care.

page 46

2012-02-15T01:50:00.001-05:00

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if we still act like strangers when it's time to move out from res. We came into res together. We came in excited to be able to see each other all the time, AFTER ALL WE DO LIVE ON THE SAME FLOOR. *cough

Well, even if we don't talk anymore, I still wonder. My mind still races around. But you can't tell me that you haven't thought of me either. There is no way you feel fully confident walking out that front door every day.

No freakin' way. Deep down I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. Hoping that you'll be the one to apologize. But reality check, that isn't going to happen.

Change only happens when you do something. And am I going to do something? Probably not. I care, but I care about myself more.

page 45

2012-02-14T18:31:00.001-05:00

since i didn't blog yesterday, and yesterday was the 13th:
FOUR MONTHS TIL MY BIRTHDAY ;)
THREE MONTHS TIL MY MOMMA'S ENG BIRTHDAY
TWO MONTHS TIL THREE STOOGIES MOVIE COMES OUT WITH CHRIS DIAMANTOPOULOS (aka my sister's best friend's brother) woot woot!

ANYWAYS.
Finished my midterms.
Going home earlier than planned.
GOING HOME TMW NIGHT! AWYEAH!
home to my baby gizmo & to fast wi-fi!

miss home. miss bed. miss gizmo. miss TORONTO. miss parent's cooking. miss everything.

even if midterms are done, i'm still continuing to bury my face in the books. i need to stay on top of my shit.
have to stop "i can survive without a post or two" or "fuck it, i'm lazy to post" for these online postings and this weekly shit. NO. IT ADDS UP.

NOTE TO SELF:
- AIM TO DO EVERY SINGLE CRIM ARTICLE AND SUMMARY
- AIM TO DO EVERY SINGLE READING FICTION READING + ONLINE POSTING
- GO TO CRIM CLASS
- GO TO PHILOSOPHY AND READ THE BOOKS SO IF HE PICKS ON ME, I KNOW THE SHIT.
- KEEP READING

:)

ADD OIL.
Everything matters. It's all in my hands.

page 40

2012-02-09T19:35:00.000-05:00

First off, three things.

1. obviously someone shushed you, you continuously talk and sound so cocky when you talk too...

2. who still wears pigtails? ...REALITY CHECK, YOU'RE IN UNIVERSITY. PIG TAILS AREN'T CUTE ANYMORE!

3. why do i even bother coming to this 3 hr lecture EVERY week -___-" ..

Sighs, it's kinda bad how i'm actually used to walking past you as if you're a complete stranger. It's so obvious that we still get anxious around each other. I don't get it...

page 39

2012-02-08T23:38:00.000-05:00

You're not a real fan if you don't know where he's been or what he's been doing. If you're a real fan, you'd know. You'd be updated all the time.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
MY BABY GEORGE NOZUKA IS RELEASING A MIXTAPE SOON < 3

Release date is unknown.

No words can explain how excited I am.

GEORGE NOZUKA ALL NIGHT LONG? I THINK SO!

AHHHH ALSKDJFLKSDJFLS <3 =D

PS. 8 more days until reading week :)
NEW YORK THIS MONTH? Awyeah ;) hopefully this plan goes through!

page 38

2012-02-07T00:17:00.001-05:00

NINE MORE DAYS UNTIL MY READING WEEK BEGINS!
YUSSSSS!
Which means .. 8 more days of nerding :$ ahaha

page 33

2012-02-02T14:20:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty sure I had a good .. 10-11 hours of sleep... Woke up at 2pm .. Oops :$

Waking up feeling really sick today though, not down for class today, maybe my night class, but i'm just gonna chill in for now ..

Ummm.. since when did facebook turn into tumblr? Honestlyy... with all this Meme shit, with the "Y U NO" .. REALLY? does anyone else get annoyed but me..

And it's alright.. really?...

Not in the greatest moods today.. Feeling really shitty, tired, head hurts...

Blah!

2012-01-31T18:26:00.001-05:00

Steve Aoki's Wonderland Album is beautiful.
This album has been on repeat the past three days :$

page 30-31

2012-01-31T12:13:00.000-05:00

this is how my week is looking .. take in the fact that i have weekly shit to do ..

Monday: online test for religion: evil & it's symbols

Tuesday: philosophy test

Wednesday: weekly posting for fiction is due (weekly) (requires me to do readings.. i have 3 stories to catch up on for this class)

Thursday: Religion Journal # 2 is due (bi-weekly work), Criminology Article Summary (weekly)

Friday: Essay due, which i have to edit ..

then this weekend i have to do a crap load of reading for Environment & Society, visiting my bestie in Waterloo also!

... Goddamn... The next two weeks are gonna be non-stop nerding! studying, reading, notes, weekly shit.. FML..

GOODBYE SOCIAL LIFE!

Need to boost up my marks.. So my social life has been kissed goodbye..

page 30

2012-01-30T02:21:00.002-05:00

I still don't get it .. We live down the hall from each other.. Regret not spending more time with you MY FUCKING ASS.

Page 27-28

2012-01-28T03:55:00.001-05:00

Its actually amusing to see how scared of me you really are. It's quite pathetic.. What happened?

Sighs... It sucks laying here missing what we had. I miss feeling happy and safe with you.

officially updated my LIFE'S TO DO LIST

2012-01-25T16:35:00.000-05:00

live life with no regrets
fall in love
los angeles (and ofc hiking)
electric daisy carnival
ultra musical festival
~~get tweets from the faves~~
~~be known from the faves~~
bungee jumping
sky diving
hang with shannon kook-chun
own a dSLR
own a polaroid camera
new york
watch the sunset and sunrise in one day
go camping
national park
hike up a mountain
sit on a rooftop
firework sparkler
get a tattoo - something meaningful
own a white west highland terrior
~~get drunk for the first time~~
water balloon fight
carve my name in a tree
catch a firefly
be brought up on stage
get kissed in the rain
learn how to swim
skinny dipping
write a meaningful quote on a bathroom stall with a sharpie
learn how to play guitar
buy and own my own car
road trip
drive-in movie
snorkling
swim with dolphins and kiss one
go to an Ellen Degeneres show
sleep for 20+ hours
have someone sing to me
toronto international film festival
~~go to a concert~~ - concert count and order: george nozuka, jonas brothers, bruno mars, lights, tiesto, lady gaga, lights, tdsb @ cne
see lifehouse in concert
see backstreet boys
read a full book series besides twilight
learn palm reading
zip lining
walk the great wall of china
build a legit igloo
go fishing
have my fortune read
snowboarding
cn tower climb
dog sledding
discover my life purpose
canopy bed
campfire
backstage at a concert
see a shooting star
different wardrobe
see as many DJs possible
Greece

Meet and have a picturewith

· ~~GeorgeNozuka~~

· Tiesto

~~· ShannonKook-Chun~~

· Lights

Concerts

· ~~Tiesto~~

· ~~Hardwell~~

· ~~George~~

· Lifehouse

· JasonDerulo

· ~~Bruno Mars~~

· Adele

· LeonaLewis

· SelenaGomez

· BritneySpears

· BlackEyed Peas

· BackstreetBoys

· ~~Lady Gaga~~

· JasonChen

· ~~Ryan Bandong~~

Page 24!

2012-01-24T15:28:00.002-05:00

2012 = 3 Trips? Whaaaa...

My girl told me last night that I was invited to her trip to Great Smoky Mountain with her family and possibly another friend in Early May.. Everything is already paid for.. It looks beautiful holy shit. I’ve always wanted to visit a national park! :$ So guess i’ll be begging my parents.

I also want to go to Manhattan, New York during reading week. If not reading week, this summer I want go to go New York!

AND, sister’s best friend’s brother is getting married in Greece in Sept.

AHHHH.

I’m hoping all this is going to happen. I’m so excited! :$

page 23

2012-01-23T01:01:00.000-05:00

woops forgot some days.. been busy and lazy..

went back home this past weekend.. was a good break.. deff needed it! not down to go back around noon though.. not ready to go back to pretend that everything is perfect where it is... well it's .. satisfying, but not what i really want..
what i really want?
is to go back in time and fix what went wrong. i miss when we talked every day and was so happy. i miss smiling at my phone like an idiot and trying not to burst and smile in public.
i can't go back in time, but i can only move on.
so what i'm going to do?

focus on school, and move on. pack my brain with as much information and keep myself busy.
i mean, c'mon, it'd be pretty awesome to be a licensed interior designer even if i'm going to struggle. never took the last year of math, or went through with the visual arts.. fml.. oh wells..

nts: no regrets

page 17

2012-01-17T22:46:00.000-05:00

slowly getting tired of pretending i don't want to talk, cause i miss talking to you. the old you.

thursday and i'll be home.
almost there.

page 15-16

2012-01-16T02:18:00.001-05:00

I hate this feeling so much... It hurts, it really really does..

page 14

2012-01-14T14:36:00.001-05:00

Do me a favour, grow a pair and not text me. I didn't even get jack shit, but you got one thing right: I don't want to talk to you. I live down the hall, least you can do is come over.

Today is a day for some serious nerding. Going to finish chapter 3 for criminology, and hopefully tonight us girls are heading out to east side marios and movie (yn) hopefully both! we all need this time together and to get out.

Hoping that I can skip next friday's Reading Fiction class due to Chinese New Year. LOL. I wanna go home after my night class on Thursday night.. Going to continue bugging my sister if I have to.. =)

page 13 of 366

2012-01-13T02:13:00.001-05:00

I don't like laying here missing the old you. Not one bit.

ps. six months til my bday :)

Page 12 of 366

2012-01-12T18:10:00.002-05:00

Hate my Thursday schedule..

2:30-3:50pm
4-5:20pm
7-9:50pm

one more class.. hopefully it ends way early.. if not i'll be out my 9:30 since this bitch doesn't give us a break and is deciding go straight through ..

fucking tired as hell too x___x
sighs.
hopefully i can squeeze in some reading tonight after class..

Horoscope for today..

2012-01-12T02:50:00.001-05:00

"If you choose to pursue something you really want - something that's been on your mind for quite awhile - you may or may not succeed. The thing is, Gemini, that you aren't meant to know which way it will go. Part of your mission for this current pursuit is to learn how to be more assertive and to go after what you want in life. Most of the time, we don't know what the outcome will be when we pursue a goal. That's why it's so important to proceed with a positive attitude, and the belief that you will succeed. So go for it. The only certainty here is that if you don't try, you will regret it."

Umm, creepy much?! O.o

page 11-12 of 366

2012-01-12T01:04:00.001-05:00

It feels really good to be caught up and/or ahead with the work for school.

The only thing that matters is school. Every day I have been reading and note taking. I spent like two hours at tim hortons with some of my Laurier girls and I actually could focus there. Came back to res and I couldn't even finish my last page for Philosophy. I have like not even four pages to read for next week for Philosophy, so gonna get that done tonight. So then tomorrow (well today actually) before my 2:30pm class i'll squeeze in some of my Environment & Society readings.. Not quite caught up with that class.

NTS:

Evil & It's Symbols - no readings yet

Philosophy: Values & Society - caught up, going to read next weeks since it's short

Criminology - Caught up, ahead of that class. Going to continue to read ahead this weekend.

Environment & Society - catching up this weekend reading week 2 and 3

Reading Fiction - done the required readings for that, skim/read through Cathedral story again + online posting this weekend

PS. JUST KEEP GOING, ALL OTHER THOUGHTS ARE JUST IN YOUR HEAD (NO SHIT LOL). ADD OIL, AND KEEP SMILING.

page 10-11 of 366

2012-01-11T02:07:00.003-05:00

I got a call earlier today around 1pm the moment before I was about to start reading for my Intro to Criminology class from one of the people from the Academy of Design. I was looking at different programs before bed last night, and I requested more info about the program. Totally did not expect someone to actually call me, but now that I got a call, it seems even more legit. I feel like I actually have an idea of what I want to do. It's going to be the hardest thing ever that comes along with a shit load of struggle, but it'd be pretty awesome to be a licensed interior designer :)

I'm actually going to miss being in Brantford with my Laurier girls <3 They're pretty awesome. Like yeah, I'm dying to switch out of Brantford, but honestly, It's pretty awesome here at the same time. I'm going to miss being able to leave late at night for walks or timmies runs. Pretty much things I'm not able to do back home in Toronto.

Spent a good almost two hours outside and in the lobby to my Residence just chatting. (Another one of our good life chats I have with my girl). But pretty much I just spent my night with my girls. I love em to death. They're awesome. We've all grown so close it's pretty darn amazing. One of the roomies here that barely chills with us came out and we all had a good laugh.

Tonight was a good day. Today was a good day.

I'm actually proud of myself. I know what I want. I finally can say that I have only one regret in life. It doesn't hurt to see you. It doesn't irritate me or get me antsy or ANYTHING to be around you. Yeah, we're in the same class .. does that really matter? Nope. Not to me at least.

One last thing: I actually don't care. Whether we talk again or not is the least of my concern. It's quite easy for me to cut someone out and have someone cut me out. Pretty much immune to this bullshit. Yeah it'd be cool to find out what really happened, where the bump in the road was, but nothing is going to change.

Page 9 of 366

2012-01-09T23:22:00.000-05:00

Cause I'm cool I'll start my 2012 daily posts with page 9 ..

... I'm not the type to have any regrets. But I think I finally found one regret in my life. High School. I wish I could re-do my high school years all over again. To expand my options, to take a victory lap at a different high school.

BLAH. whatevs. whatever's done is done..

2011

2011-12-31T00:19:00.000-05:00

2011 was a pretty good year.

I've met a lot of new people thanks to my university. I've been through quite a lot. I know who my real friends are, who will be there, and who will not be. I know the differences between things. I know that I can survive on my own without my family there beside me 24/7. I proved to myself that I can live on my own, and that I can provide for myself.

I've learned that you need to the take chances when they're in front of you. Don't take things for granted. You need to take the chances if you want to see a change in your life because at the end of the day it's all you. You don't want to have to sit there and say, "shit, i should of don't that" or feel like you've wasted your time. I know now how to manage my time. I know how to force myself to do things I need and/or have to do.

As much as I want to say I want to bring in 2012 with all smiles and laughter, I can't. At least not fully. I don't want to have to carry this burden over to the new year with me. But I have to go back to it. This winter break was WELL NEEDED. A break from all the residence life people, a break from people I don't have to worry about seeing when I step foot outside my door, a break from the SLOW ass internet. A break from pretty much the hard life. As much as the winter break was good, I feel like I also wasted my time. I went from having to study or work on an assignment everyday for a month straight to two weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING. I'll miss that, but you know what, some things in life are more important. And I really have learned the hard way. Marks are HORRIBLE, but I know now that's all me. I'm tired of of being tired. It's time to really push myself through and not the last month and a half of the semester.

I'm done dragging on the burden and stress of everything. Fuck that shit. Life's short. I'm gonna live. I'm gonna do ten times better in my winter term than I have for my fall. I'm not going to hold back. 2012 is the year to make the change. It's my year to figure myself out and to live.. Even if I have to bring on your bullshit over.

I'm done with you.

2011

2011-12-26T02:39:00.001-05:00

It was really an interesting year. I've seen quite a bit of people in concert including Shawn desman, Grayson chance, tiesto, lights, lady gaga... I met a lot of new people.. Shannon kook-chun knows who I am.. My all time fave George Nozuka follows me and tweeted me.. A lot has happened, and I really am happy. Graduated from high school and now I'm in my first year living away from home..

Merry Christmas and happy new year to whoever reads this. May 2012 bring you happiness and love. :)

I hate this feeling.

2011-12-09T22:47:00.001-05:00

Nuff said.

December!

2011-12-02T03:41:00.001-05:00

This is going to be ONE HECTIC MONTH.
Non-stop studying for the next two weeks for exams.
New Years Eve!
Friends.
Family.
Gizmo! (my new puppy, she's a cutie)

eeeeee <3 !

can't believe it's dec 2 already .. shit this year went by pretty fast ..

pretty legit year thoo (y) quite awesome :')

2011-11-24T01:40:00.001-05:00

I feel like there was a reason why we talked and met before we came here.
I feel like we got to know each other a bit for a reason.
I feel like I discovered a little piece of you while discovering a little piece of me.
But now I feel like you're a total different person.

You looked at me with your piercing blue eyes. Those eyes that sparkled and looked at me as if nothing else mattered. What happened? I thought I could be right about someone. Obviously I wasn't.

It's been two months since we've ignored each other and we live on the same damn floor..
What's going on.. What happened?

Well, whatever you plan to say in the near future won't even matter.

IT WON'T MATTER ANYMORE. You've brought out a side of you I never thought was possible.

...

2011-10-27T19:33:00.000-04:00

I don`t care that we don`t talk anymore, or see each other, but it really does suck because I got so used to you..

deff a man ~

2011-10-14T01:24:00.001-04:00

You actually confuse the living fuck out of me.

AND

You're actually the biggest pu**y ever. I mean look at me, you're scared to talk to someone half your size?

.. NO COMMENT.

Man up and tell me. Or i'll make it awkward for you.

PS. You're doing a G R E A T job of holding on to me.
*cough

...

2011-10-01T23:41:00.002-04:00

We've been through this already even before we actually met. I'm tired of setting myself up for hurt.

The longer you wait to talk to me, the more it kills me. I don't wanna be the one to talk to you when you're the one that booked it from me that night. It's been a week and a half now. Why should I be the one to talk to you? After all, you're the one that had a "bad night". I saw the things you said that night, I saw the facial expressions you had. For fuck sakes, just grow a pair and talk to me. It kills me to not talk to you when I know that you live down the hall. It's honestly so weird to not talk to you every day. I miss the days when you came in to see me, when you came in to check up on me. Eventually you came in for the others which I predicted right. And now, you don't come in at all. You talk to them still, but continue to ignore me. I really don't want to be the one that talks to you first, but if this feeling drags on even more, and hurts this much, I don't know much longer I can take it..

I know people are telling me you're not worth it. But there's something about you that I can't put my figure on. You make me feel like I've never felt. I never knew what it was like to smile at someone for no reason. Even when you came in to just say hi and see me, that made my day. What about now?

I don't get it. Three weeks ago, you missed me. You wanted me home. You wanted to spend more time with me. 3 weeks from that, we're not even talking. All I want to know is what's going on in your head. Just take the time and talk to me. Tell me what's been going on. I don't even care anymore. It hurts to sit here knowing all the other people know you more than I do.

Bucket List?

2011-08-03T13:37:00.003-04:00

I've never gotten around to make a bucket list, so I think I'm going to start creating one.

& before I forget:

- ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL
- Los Angeles
- California
- New York
- ULTRA MUSIC FESTIVAL
~~- See Tiesto live~~ = DONE (:
- See Tiesto live for a second time
~~- Tiesto to tweet me back~~ = DONE (: .. TWICE ;)
- Hardwell to tweet me back
- Meet George Nozuka officially
~~- George to tweet me back~~ = DONE , 3 times already ;D
~~- Lady Gaga~~
- Gaga a 2nd time
~~- Bruno Mars~~
- Bruno a 2nd time
- Meet Lights!
- Meet Tiesto (yn)
- Skydiving
- bungee jumping
- see George on the streets
- see Shannon KC on the streets :$
- chill with Shannon KC ! LOL (yn) i can wish!
- dSLR
- polaroid camera
-

..

2011-07-07T00:29:00.002-04:00

it hurts.

IDGAF

2011-06-08T00:21:00.002-04:00

I didn’t think you’d be the one that’d turn your back on me. I believed you when you said I’d never lose you. I believed you when you told me I am special, and that you like me too. But now? What have you done? You’ve collected your jar of hearts, and took one that was not mine. You led me on, and that hurt. I led myself on, and that hurt. And now I’m laying here in bed wondering what happened. Obviously I never mattered enough to you because you fell for another chick harder than you fell for me. The feelings you gave me cannot be described. You gave me butterflies just at the thought of you. I loved how you would smile whenever I smiled. I loved everything. You weren’t even mine to begin with, but I lost you. I lost you to some next chick. And this is what I meant by setting myself up for hurt, because I’d knew I’d fall for someone who would say a bunch of lies and lead me on. So

from now on, you no longer matter to me.

- Written by yours truly, Priscilla Wong.

Slap Me Now

2011-05-09T18:12:00.002-04:00

If there ever comes a day

When trust turns back around

To slap me in the face,

It must slap me hard.

If there ever comes a day

When regret turns back around

To slap me in the face,

It must slap me hard.

If there ever comes a day

When honesty turns back around

To slap me in the face,

It must slap me hard.

For I have trusted you,

Regretted you,

And not been fully honest with you.

So slap me now, or leave me with this guilt.

2010-2011 has to be THE BEST SENIOR YEAR, EVER.

2011-05-03T13:03:00.000-04:00

I've seen Lights, Bruno Mars, Blake McGrath, Danny Fernandes, Lady Gaga, and now ..
TIESTO <3 .. I also saw Hardwell, Wolfgang Gartner & Harvard Bass too .. <3

Weeeee <3

April 21st, 2011. Tiesto, Toronto, Ricoh Coliseum.
BEST NIGHT OF LIFE.
BESTESTESTEST seat in the house, FLOOR SEATS. RIGHT UP IN THE FRONT <3 I saw his face :')
Bahaha.
6 hours of PURE BASS, travelling through you.. what more could you ask for?

I'd post pictures, but pictures don't tell much. The videos I have show you how close up we were, how good the bass felt <3

If i could relive it, I would.
6 hours of pure beats and pass, yum <3

But today, is one of those days. I just want to sleep everything off. Not down for night school at all. I wouldn't mind if my spare was last, except it's not. So here I am, in the school library, suffering from bordem.

50 minutes left... FML ..

I could keep venting, but I'm going to choose not to. This is not the time and place to do it.

phoneless for the next couple days

2011-04-18T19:33:00.000-04:00

Getting a new phone mailed to me in the new few days, meaning I'm phoneless. Shit, that means I have to get a new SIM card ..

Anyways,

I sorta like being phoneless. I don't have to worry about it. I can cut people out for a couple days, just cause.

I'm really going to miss talking to some people though.

I'm procrastinating/putting off my work .. Not in the mood for anything tonight ..

Night school tomorrow, -____-' .. sighs

LONG DAY without a phone.

It better come asap, it requires me to get a new sim card, I want it by tiesto!!

quick glance at my 2011

2011-04-14T16:41:00.000-04:00

- graduating class of 2011
- i saw Lights in concert
- i saw Lady Gaga in concert
- i'm going to see Tiesto in concert .. in 7 days ;) <3
- spending the summer with my one and only wife <3
- hoping to master "Look at me now"
- Wham Bam 2011 (hopefully!! we're trying to win tix, if not i guess we're buying)
- Summer Rush 2011(which we best be going to)
- Wonderland date with the wife
- I got my beats headphones <3
- I'm mad broke, HAAA.
- my loverboy is done her first year at Loo <3
- beach ..

& many many more <3

I'm excited :')

I've hit that bump in the road again ..

2011-04-12T21:45:00.001-04:00

I feel like I don't know what I'm doing in life.
All I want is money, sleep and the freedom to do whatever I want, the freedom to GO wherever I want ..

I WANT OUT. I NEED A FRESH START. NOW.

I'm so stressed its unbelievable. I was soo excited to get out of high school, still am. But I don't know what I'm doing AFTER. The one place I applied to didn't accept me. That's a TOTAL KILLER right there. I may even take a year off, but now that I think of that, I should of just stayed back a semester .. But that's too much of a hassle .. WHAT AM I DOING? FUCK.

I don't even care for anything anymore.

I am in the worst mood possible right now, I don't know anything. All I want is 5 things:

1. Fresh Start, aka MOVE SOMEWHERE
2. Person A to be back in my life
3. Person B to be with me right now and to make me feel like I'm the ONLY one that matters in his life.
4. To Sleep All The Time Whenever I chose to
5. And Cry ..

Yet again ..

2011-04-08T21:41:00.001-04:00

and once again, I sorta fell for someone I last saw in the summer and barely talked to then, where we talk every day now ..

pattern? i think so.

you make me smile, you make me angry, and when we don't talk, it drives me insane.

Sighs

2011-04-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

When I said I was scared to sleep friday night because I don't know what I'd dream. I really meant it.

Before I went to sleep that night, I laid in bed thinking. Think about how fast he's been in and out of my life. How fast he could stay in or out just like that. It really hurts to know that you come back to talk to me probably a couple times throughout a year. But why bother if you're gonna stir up another storm? Just do me a favor. Learn what CLOSURE means. I hate how we're always back and forth saying we miss each other, and the next thing you know we're not talking because we found something to disagree or argue about.

When I woke up early Saturday morning from that dream, I felt scared. Scared for my dad, my sister. Scared to fall asleep again thinking the dream would of continued. I was scared, and I was crying. I wanted someone to be there in bed with me holding me telling me everything's going to be alright and that it was just a dream. It wouldn't happen.

Only if ..

Some things just leave me speechless

2011-04-01T21:23:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I realized how easily I can fully cut you out of my life. Well, you're already cut, but the only connection I have left of with you is msn. What happens if I delete you? .. You'll be out of my life, and all i'd have left of you is the slim chances i'd bump into you at VP station since i don't see you anywhere else ..

I'm not gonna lie, i miss you.
What happened to us?

Soon you'll realize that you miss me too, and you'll come back to me. But until that day comes, I'll leave it at this:

I miss you, love you and always will but realize how fast you can be gone out of my life. You've done it already, it can happen, and this time permanently.

...

2011-03-30T21:18:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how time flies, how fast emotions can change, and how much you grow.

I must say, high school is definitely life changing. I learned who the fakes are, who the besties are, who are WORTH being in your life, and who's just a phase. Yes WHOSE JUST A PHASE. I can't even look at some people without being disgusted. And to think I was once friends with them? HAAAA. Bite me in the ass.

The all time besties. You know who you are, and i thank you for being there <3

I can't wait til im out of high school. I can delete all them "peeps" that don't matter off my facebook! yeees! cause yenno what, don't need you in my life, you're just there anyways. Like a piece of dust, BITE ME.

>: )

of course i'd have to have a sucky ending to a good day

2011-03-30T20:26:00.000-04:00

Sighs. I'm back to my slow jams now.
I HATE IT when I argue with someone after i clearly state don't argue with me. If you think i'm slow, telling me to make my answers shorter, why don't you just shut up. If you don't know my ways, or agree with it, don't bother. I don't need YOU to tell me what to do. It's already bad enough that I have my days where I'm crazy over you. Today was that day, but now it's turning out to be the "what do i see in you" day. Fuck.

It really bugs me cause I really do care about you. I mean what I say. I don't like how you make me feel useless, but there are times where you do, even if you only saying "morning" ..

Blah. There is so much I can say. So much bundled up in my head. But the only thing that comes out is a nice big SIGH.

100 Facts About Me, a legit one this time

2011-03-26T21:50:00.001-04:00

the first time i did it, was on twitter. and most of it i wrote random shit. but this one is legit. i spent time one night typing it out on my phone since i couldn't sleep LOL.

1. I'm a sucker for guitar players
2. I'm a sucker for blue eyes
3. I'm a sucker for kisses on the neck & forehead
4. I'm a sucker for hugs from behind, especially when arms/hands are around my waist :$
5. I love cooking
6. I live off music
7. I have the best friends in the world, wouldn't change a thing
8. I hate high school so much, but there was A LOT of fun times. It showed me who my real friends are. Whuddup college! (yn)
9. I'm hoping to get my G1 by my birthday - I.D purposes
10. I'm hoping to get a new ipod by summer
11. I sleep with lotso every day, lotso gets the most kisses
12. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you
13. we had the lamest relationship ever, but i don't regret being with you, I loved you & I hope you knew that
14. high school really does change you and open your eyes to new doors in life
15. I actually like night school. Writers craft class is bomb.
16. I'm a writer, hoping to be writing for a magazine or newspaper one day even if I'm not the best, still a noob
17. I often spend my nights when I can't sleep thinking about my life and where I am now and how I've grown as a person
18. I believe in karma
19. I will get a tattoo of tiestos logo one day
20. I'm not religious, nor do I want to be personally
21. I often doubt myself
22. "its okay to have a broken heart, it means you tried for something"
23. I still love you
24. I sometimes wonder what life would of been like if my little sister survived
25. I need more vacations
26. like everyone, I want to win the lottery
27. I have a huge heart for music artists
28. I'm not a drinker
29. I'm not a HS Slubber, thaank god!
30. I don't think I'm missing out on being drunk, but i wouldn't know cus ive never been drunk
31. I'm way too excited for Tiesto
32. I'm way sad that I don't see BSB in concert
34. I want to see Britney Spears
35. I want to see Bruno Mars again
36. I want to see Gaga again
37. I have a weird love for Salami
38. I'd rather eat noodles every day as a tradition than rice
39. My sisters are going to be flying at Tiesto's concert. But me? I don't know. I'm probably going sober.
40. I LEGIT want to move to Los Angeles with my wife :)
41. When i move to L.A., I don't want to live there for more than 5 years maybe? But who knows..
42. It's earth hour; TV's on, my laptop is plugged. LOL. fail.
43. I'm a twitter addict. I tweet a lot. Deal with it.
44. I have bad mood swings sometimes, so deal with it.
45. I love my beats headphones. Best gift ever.
46. I NEED a new ipod. i know i said it, BUT I NEED A NEW IPOD.
47. I woke up this morning wanting someone in particular beside me .. one of those days ..
48. I love waking up seeing the sun, hence why I want to move somewhere with a lot of sun.
49. One day I don't want to go home until the sun is up.
50. I miss you more than you'll ever know.
51. Personality wins over looks most of the time. But you still need the looks.
52. Even though we've never hung out after we met, i still want you to kiss me.
53. I miss having a boyfriend.
54. But i like being single too.
55. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you'll always have someone there for you.
56. My best friends are my life. They are my world. I love you guys <3
57. I have a vlog with my best friend aka my wife on youtube.
58. I'm the type of friend, BEST FRIEND to have a shovel ready when someone hurts their feelings. Watch out boys.
59. I'm ridin' solooooo. Well for now. Bahaha.
60. I'm proud to say that the pain you caused me, well majority of it is gone. But you'll forever remain in my heart.
61. Never knew single could feel this good. - Jason Derulo.
62. It just struck 9:30pm and my dad came up to turn on the light. I'm so positive he doesn't know it was just earth hour.
63. I know where i want to go in the next 3 years after high school, and i want out NOW.
64. High school pisses me off.
65. Every day i see people in the halls i now hate. Friends my fucking ass. Suck my imaginary dick you slubbers.
66. I love my close guy friends. I only have a few though. KG, BK, RTS, VS is considered one too.
67. Almost every day there is someone that brings up how one of the guys used to like me, and they question if they still do.
68. I always get yelled at even though half the time I didn't do shit. It gets VERY annoying.
69. Apparently according to Team Gemini, this is the fav position. I wouldn't know. I'm not that kinda girl thanks.
70. I want to live in a condo and a house one day. Not all at the same time obv! I'm not rich.
71. I wish i had some sort of money.
72. Almost every day something upsets me, or memories come back causing me to be sad.
73. I'm mad broke.
74. I'm the type of girl to always want to cuddle. I want to feel safe.
75. People say listening to sad music makes you more sad. Not for me, sometimes it makes me feel better or just the same. Makes no difference. Soft peices of ... :)
76. The WORST feeling is knowing that you can't cry anymore when you really want to. It hurts. A lot.
77. I kiss Lotso a lot :$
78. I miss my Stitch :[
79. I'm a sucker for cute plushes.
80. I have weird cravings and temptations at weird times. Like today, i wanted to completely rearrange my room which requires a shit load of hours and cleaning.
81. I should be studying or at least finishing up the work in the workbook for exercise science.
82. I want to see Lifehouse in concert SO FUCKING BADLY. PLEASE COME TO TORONTO ALREADY!
83. I want a lot of things but have no money for.
84. I need money, but i hate the thought of working, but when i'm actually there, i don't mind it. Dilemma? Yep!
85. I want to see Akon in concert. I LOVELOVELOVELOVE him. EVERY SINGLE SONG HE MAKES IS FUCKING AMAZING. AND I MEAN EVERY SONG.
86. I have a secret obsession with Akon. bahaha.
87. George Nozuka <3 .. my one and only :)
88. Mmmm, i could live off of pho.
89. I wish I had a reason to wake up every day and really want to.
90. I want to learn how to play Guitar, piano & violin one day.
91. I would die to be actual friends with George Nozuka. Chill and all that ish. alskdjflsjlks.. i can have dreams can't i!
92. I mastered Tiesto's logo >:]
93. I'm a strong believer in astrology.
94. Team Gemini, and i love it.
95. 100 facts about me, is so soft you lameos! You clearly don't have enough to talk about yourself or don't realize how much you can. LOL. (mah inner writer is comin' out)
96. I've always thought peacocks were pretty.
97. Megan Fox is NO LONGER pretty. period.
98. I want to see Leona Lewis in concert.
99. For the FIRST TIME, I didn't go insane with Lobster at work. Woo!
100. I have a lot of people hitting on me when i'm out. Even on my bad days. Ew.

March Break 2011

2011-03-18T20:39:00.000-04:00

T'was a good one. Spent time with the besties :)

& now i really want to move to L.A. or at least somewhere hot -.-

Today was a bad day. Nuff said.

& those beats headphones i borrowed from my friend Richard? He's letting me keep them :$
Yay, thank you <3 <3 <3

Now, to get a new ipod this year!

Anyhoo, some pictures:

Love my wife Mel <3
We're gonna move to L.A. Well hopefully. LOL. (yn) It's a dream.
Dreams can happen!

"This Is My Story" Short Story I wrote for Writers Craft

2011-03-11T22:34:00.002-05:00

Written by yours truly, me :)

My mother always told me to keep my head up high. Ever since I was born she told me I was beautiful, and that someday I will be the strongest woman she knows. She was right. But I didn’t just wake up one day to suddenly realize this. It took me a long time, and a load of courage. This is a story about abuse, family, love, respect and self-esteem. This is my story.

It was a sunny day in typical Los Angeles. My boyfriend, Luke and I had spent the day shopping and sightseeing. We also spent a lot of time at our favourite park. We loved having picnics there. But today in particular, I spent our Friday afternoon in the park observing Luke. His luscious blonde hair flowed perfectly with his bright sparkly blue eyes. We found ourselves staring into the sky watching the leaves fall from the trees. My mother Catherine and I had just moved here so we wanted to explore the streets of Los Angeles on our own. However, my mother is the type of women to always open the door whenever she’s a given a key. She got offered a job here in L.A. as an editor for the LA Daily, so she was off to work. She told us that she would meet us back home for our weekly movie night with the classic popcorn. This is our family tradition. Now that Luke and I are engaged, my mother didn’t care too much about whom we spent our movie night with. She already considered him as her own son anyways.

As months flew by, Luke and I spent all of our time together. We visited half of the coffee shops in the city, all of the recreation parks, and all the malls as well. We were happy. We enjoyed playing scrabble every once in a while to bring back the old memory of when we first met. Catherine on the other hand, (I never called her mom or mother because we have always been that close), had never got that much time for our mother-daughter bond. She called this, “The Catherine and Lillian bonding time”. She even started giving our Friday night tradition up because of Rob, whom I’m supposed to call my step-father, but I prefer to label him just as any other worthless man. She met Rob at the local coffee shop which is a part of their Sunday mornings. They got engaged 2 ½ years later after they met. And you guessed it, he proposed at that coffee shop. It was the talk of the area. People walked around telling their friends and family, “Hey did you hear about that guy Rob who proposed to his girlfriend? That was the cutest thing! You should have been there!”

Growing up was hard for my mother and I. My dad John passed away because of our house fire back in Toronto, that’s why we wanted to start fresh in Los Angeles, a city we had always dreamed of living in. This house fire had killed him because he was too busy trying to get Catherine and I out of the house. It was too late for him to step out of the house because by the time we were halfway out, my dad was already severely burned. He was always the brave one. I got my thick dirty blonde hair and sparkly green eyes from him. I love you and always remember that dad. I love you for opening my eyes to showing me what true self esteem really is about. Now I’m wishing that you’re here to show mom that courage to leave her worthless things behind and to look at what she has so she can embrace what she’s losing.

Catherine and Rob once upon a time was a tolerable couple. Now that he’s the worthless man I’m supposed to call my stepfather, he’s became the total opposite man that my mother saw in him. Everyone slowly grew apart from each other in the family. My mother always made up excuses and wanted me to back her up if he ever asked about her. She always stayed late at work or even took night shifts to get away from Rob. Once in a while Rob would storm into my room late in the evening yelling at me and asking me, “Is your dumbass mother Cat coming home or what!” And this is the moment where I’d have to back her up and tell him, “No she’s not. She has a late shift” or “No she’s not. She’s staying to finish up some stuff”. He didn’t like the sound of that. He was in control now that he was known as the man of the house. So he took over. He started drinking which soon became a problem, and he’d often drag me to different parts of the house. The basement soon became his favourite place. He took me to the basement where he tied me up, beat me with his stacks of belts, and started ripping my clothes off of me. So as you can see, my dad used me as his late night session whenever my mom was in late at work. Every other night he’d tie me up, beat me with numerous belts leaving scars, scabs and bruises all over my body especially in places I feel most uncomfortable with. The basement was a very a dark and creepy place. The lights were never able to turn on, which meant candles soon became an obsession for him. The nights when my mom would struggle coming home, she was already too late. I couldn’t tell Catherine a word because he’d just threaten me even more. He knew he had control over me, over my mother. After he’d be done with me, he’d go onto Catherine. I knew this because my bedroom is across the hall.

Sometimes Rob would purposely leave a crack in the door just enough to see what was going on. Chasing around the room, screaming and panting was all you would hear for 3 hours straight. This happened too many times to even care what he would do next because he’d most likely already tried it on either one of us, mainly me.

Luke and I had also grown distant ever since Rob became an alcoholic. So one day, I skipped out on class, and went to Luke’s to find Rob’s car parked outside. How Rob found Luke’s place, I don’t want to know, but what happened that day, scared Luke and things just went downhill from there. Rob went onto Luke like a vampire hasn’t eaten for months. He threatened Luke; he slapped him and even beat him a couple times warning him to stay away from me. He said in these exact words, “why in the name of living hell are you engaged to Lillian when you’re off sneaking around behind our back cheating and not to mention sexing this chick beside you?” Yes you guessed it. Not only was my family fucked, now my relationship with my fiancé is fucked. I ran off the porch after I knocked into the mailbox bruising my bruise, storming off crying. I didn’t understand why he chose such a path. I didn’t understand why Luke could do this to me. How could he cheat on me? I had so many questions, and just one answer. Rob. Rob was the answer to all of them.

A week later after Luke and I finally decided to talk it out, we were back on speaking terms. We understood each other, what was going on and that he would help me find a way to leave his damned house. Except, what Luke promises, he never keeps. He promised me he would take me to the places we loved visiting before, he promised me that he would break it off with that girl he was never really into. I trusted him; after all, we’ve been together for almost 5 years now.

Couple weeks later, Rob had a heart attack. The docs told us that Catherine and I that we must have not noticed any of his symptoms. How could we know? He was always short of breath after his late night sessions anyways.

It took a long time for us to gain our self-respect back. I’m back in school catching up on all the weeks I’ve missed. I’ve tossed all the makeup that I caked onto my face whenever I did attend. I tossed my engagement away with Luke as well because I found out that he never broke it off with that brown haired chick he sat beside that day. I never liked brunettes anyways, well her in particular. She had this evil look to her. And with my mom, our bonding time was stronger than ever. We got our “Catherine and Lillian bonding time” back because we had no one to worry about but us. So, every Friday night we cuddled with our snuggies, our new puppy, and went on fat mode every week. We loved it.

Whuddup 2011! :)

2011-03-05T14:03:00.001-05:00

So, i just read my Yahoo Horoscope which I haven't done in FOREVER.
Yes, i believe in the horoscopes, because its true and its me.
SO.
I looked up the 2011 horoscope.
Seems pretty legit, It's so me, and I can see it all happening.

Here's some randoms from it:

But as the year unfolds, you’ll be making so many new friends and networking contacts, you’ll barely have time to think about intimacy with one person

Asking the deeper questions about what really makes you tick can open many wonderful doors. Self-knowledge is power.

2011 is the year for expanding your horizons, meeting kindred spirits and finally creating the community of your wildest dreams.

Discrimination is the key to unlocking your true soul mate. Beggars can’t be choosers, Gemini.

Venus gives your love life a fabulous boost in late June and early July when she enters your stars. Having Mars following in sexy tandem during this time only adds the summer sizzle. After a brief romantic hiatus in August, you’ll be back in the saddle by August when Venus enters your romance sector. And then the finale of the year comes in November when Venus enters your partnership arena, sweetening the deal on all of your one-to-one contacts. What Gemini wants, Gemini surely gets if Venus has anything to say about it. So take special note of your best months: June, July, August and November

A huge shift takes place when Neptune, the planet of illusions and delusions enters your career sector in April for a relatively short stint until August. This is only a preview of what’s to come in 2012 and then continue to evolve over the next decade.

Lady Gaga's Monster Ball Tour 2011

2011-03-04T18:47:00.000-05:00

I don't even know where to start.
The atmosphere, the energy filled place was pretty much what i love and live for.
One thing I don't understand: how do people sit during a concert? ESPECIALLY Lady Gaga, like c'mon don't you wanna get up and dance?

It was just an incredible experience.
She's so inspirational <3
She's so real, she's so crazy that i love it.
She told us that in all of her performances, she never lip sings and she never will.
She called those who lip sings lazy asses.
I love her.
She's awesome.

I didn't take much good pictures, but i uploaded all my videos onto youtube.
Here they are!

High off of Tiesto :$

2011-03-02T15:15:00.001-05:00

Skipped out on school today to study for my F&N Sci test tmw and most importantly my Exercise Science test of Friday.

I've been blasting Tiesto ever since i woke up, and I'm so high off of him now. I'm constantly dancing and bobbing my head while nerding. Buahaha! <3

LOVE YOU TIESTO.
50 days til you're in Toronto. Can't wait!
Ill be on the floor ;D .. BUT you prob wont see me, im too short :( .. hahaha

OH.
& LADY GAGA CONCERT TOMORROW NIGHT! AWYEAHHHHH!

meaning today i have to do nothing but study study study if i wanna pass these 2 tests :/

Little update I guess you can say

2011-02-24T00:16:00.000-05:00

I'm in night school for Writer's Craft and I must say that I actually really like my class.
Weird, I know.
But this is the assignment I'm working on at the moment.

We're writing a setting for short stories. (We're writing our own short story in class so we're preparing and learning)

Oh, and ignore all the grammar and spelling and shit, and length. That all doesn't matter in my class and i love it. No rules whatsoever.

First setting: Alienation in Toronto
"As she walks the city of Toronto, all she feels on her are the eyes beeming her way. It's telling her, "ew what is she wearing?" She feels as if there is no one in this hugely populated city that she can relate to."

Second setting: Loneliness in the woods of Muskoka
"He hears the leaves laughing at him. He sees the tree branches pointing and laughing at him. All he hears is the crunch in the leaves in each step he takes. Each crunch he hears, is the laugh he would experience in the halls if he weren't home schooled. He longs for happiness. He longs for the tummy-aching laughs with that best friend."

Anyways. Last class as I was supposed to be doing the assignment above, I wrote a vent just cause I had to.

Here it goes:

Every time I think back on life I think about one thing. Well, not thing, person I should say. I think about how it was always the same. Months we'd stop talking because we'd end up arguing or disagreeing on something. Then we'd see each other and act as if we are invisible, although we know we are there. Then we'd eventually talk again because you'd give up. You'd pull the, "I miss you" then next thing I know we wouldn't be on talking terms again. I don't know about you, but this got, err...is tiring. Considering you broke up with Me, telling people I broke up with YOU, and said we can be friends still? Yup, I can say I got tired of the non-existent bullshit you had but suddenly came up with. I honestly have nothing to say to you anymore. Especially after you walked right past me after looking at me. Yup, I'm done with your fucking bullshit. Don't come back to me in the next couple months telling me you've missed me.

I love how you couldn't even tell me hi yourself. I have you on msn, you had my number as well, yet you'd tell my girl which I hardly even talk to? OK. You're fucked. No wonder you haven't dated anyone after me. Whatever happened to the "I seem like a player but I'm actually not" phase, which is pure bullshit because before me you got "any girl" ... Yes, you left a hole in my heart, but that's all the more reason to be stronger, to be able to walk past you, to be able to talk, or not talk and not give a fuck like i used to.

SO fucking SICK of this SHIT.

2011-02-16T20:05:00.001-05:00

I'm so fucking tired of this shit.
I'm tired of having a big heart.
I'm tired of seeing people that i loved the most walk away from me.
I'm tired of his game that you play.
I'm tired of seeing you walk past me like I'm a piece of dust that needs some cleaning.

I don't wanna know what its like to see the one that i care about most RIGHT NOW, to walk away from me.
It hurts too much to see someone just walk away like that.
And it's not even a full on disclosure too, its just a "oh let's just stop talking to her for like, i don't know .. forever" when in a couple months your probably just going to want to talk to me again.

I'm SICK and FUCKING TIRED of this.

"I believe that love should be a reason to give and get back in return. I wanna breathe in a new beginning who will wrap their arms around whats left of me"

... What hurts the most is how you could do that to me. You've left a giant hole in my heart, and im scared to fill it back in now, thanks a bunch. I hope i atleast left a tiny hole in your heart, or someone in your future does the same to you. KARMA.

Now i know what empty is.

Lifehouse - Had Enough.
Chuckie Akenz ft. Christopher Charles - Love Hurts

^ songs of the night.

Happy Valentine's Day or should i say Happy Singles day? :)

2011-02-14T15:24:00.000-05:00

Personally, im anti-vday, i find it such a stupid holiday. you dont need a holiday to celebrate love, its just an excuse to get laid :D just saying.

17 days til Lady Gaga!
56 days til Tiesto!

and at this moment i just finished podcast 54.
time for podcast 55! he has a podcast 201 now .. oh man D: ..

well tonight is gonna be all about studying for exercise science and finishing my writers craft assignment. blah!

Late night note i wrote the other night

2011-02-13T21:08:00.002-05:00

I gotta be real with you. You make me smile like no other, and when we talk you make me feel as if I'm the only girl that matters. You care for me like no one really does, and I love knowing that there's always someone there. At first when I started talking to you, I didn't think I was setting myself up for anything. But now I can see why I continued talking to you. I can't put my hands on what, but its so hard to admit that I've fallen for you. But now I'm saying. You know I care, and ill always be here. There's something about us, about you that makes me smile. Your smile just melts me and when I think of you, I just smile because I see the cutest side of you.

.. Talking to you isn't the same anymore. It kills me to see other chicks on your name even if your not dating them or dealing, but just friends. I really shouldn't feel like that, but I do. And its all because I'm falling for you faster than I can even say. I didn't see this coming, I didn't plan for it. But its you, I can't get enough of you.

Tonight is just another one of those nights ..

2011-02-05T00:07:00.001-05:00

Tonight's one of those nights where you're just simply so out of it.

Nothing to do, bored out of your mind, tired but don't feel like sleeping.

Right now I'm so out of it to the point i can just sit here watching the blind strings move a millimetre distance, with some Justin Nozuka in the background.

Justin Nozuka is perfect right now. The tune of it suits my mood.

But seriously, I could just sit here watching the blind string move, and its hardly even moving.

Tired, but don't feel like sleeping, but I'm going to anyways.

Good Night.

SNOW DAY! & Happy Chinese New Years Eve!

2011-02-02T14:51:00.001-05:00

Damn, when was the last time TDSB actually had a snow day?

What a fail, because we wake up to not even the amount of snow that we'd thought or expect to get.
But now that its like almost 3pm, yeah its been snowing for almost 2 hours straight pretty hard ahaha.

I gotta leave for work in about half an hour too ): .. working 4-7 .. oh wells!

Toula Resturant for Winterlicious tmw night! Celebrating sisters 25th a week early with her close friends. Gotta love how im going to be the only 17 year old there .. the rest are 23+ hahahaha! oh man.

OH! BEST THING HAPPENED!

i woke up on Jan 31st, and i screamed. why? TIESTO TWEETED ME! ALKSDJFLKS OMG <3 dream come true, literally!

and today, laidback luke tweeted me back, he's such a sweetheart! he tweets everyone back! :) <3

ps. follow me on twitter @babywongx0

:)

Little note i wrote on the train at 7am this morning.

2011-01-29T01:13:00.000-05:00

Waking up at 6 in the morning is definitely a change. Using the ttc at 7 in the morning is defenitely a change as well. There's actually a lot of people so early in the morning. One thing I noticed was that no matter what time of day it is, there will still be those creepers winking at you. I also noticed I was one of the few entering the subway without a daily newspaper in their hand, mostly Metro. It's rather they're holding the Metro newspaper, the occassional reading a book and the regular people that fall asleep.

-

Damnnn, today was a LOOOOONG day.
Humber assessement at 10am; left my house at 6:50am -.- missioned it to finch to meet up with my manager, also my friend. then bussed it to humber. neeever again that route. anyways, the assessment wasn't too bad. had to write 400-500 word essay. it flowed pretty nicely so i wasn't worried. however, i honestly don't think humber is right for me anymore :s .. hmm .. don't know D: ..

my aunt & uncle need to come get my cousins man, its like past 1am. -___-' the last time my aunt&uncle went out they came to pick them up at like 2am D: .. anyways, oldest of the 3 is still up. her eyes are like frieddddd man. its watery looking.. she's prob not that tired, but still think she should rest her eyes :s ..

Can't wait to be in bed oh my god ahaha, deff sleepin in past noon.

Sisters are heading their way home now, they got me French Vanilla :) yayyy hahaha.

work was hella busy today, was gonna shoot someone -.- .. ugh.. one of my managers asked whats wrong cuz my eyes were red, and my answer? "I've been up since 5:30am, thats what's wrong!" and she ended up asking why, and i told her. Humber...etcetcetc.. blaaaaah! never again.

anyways, got home from work, ate and stuff, and noticed a LAURIER letter on my table. i screamed. ahhaha was excited :) ... but it's only an acknowledgement letter. if i get in, im gonna be so surprised! LOL. i hope so :$ .. next semester is gonna be one hectic semester.

f&n sci, international business, exercise science & night school for writers craft. PROJECTS,ISU'S, AND CULM'S MUCH?!?! argh!

BLAH! i keep slacking on my tiesto podcasts. tell me why i decided to listen to everyone from the beginning. he released his 200th today apparently. I'm on 19th. i better finish this 19th one, im finishing the last half of it right now, didnt listen to the full thing yesterday. Nor do i have enough room on my ipod to fit them ): .. sighs!
Oh well.

OH, AND THAT NEW GUY AT WORK, WITH THE WEIRD NAME. I SWEAR IM GONNA FLIP AT HIM. HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW AND DUUUUUUUUMB. IM EXPRESSIONG SLOW AND DUMB, BECAUSE HE TRULY IS. I don't even work in the back aka kitchen, like c'mon! He took the wrong wrapper for the mcmini that i needed. Instead he took the regular wrap one :s .. like wtff .. im like uhm thats not the mcmini wrap... he looks at me with that dumb facial expression and was like huhhh...............ooooooooohhh.......... *tries to look* .. me: its right there, underneath. *points* ... him: where? ..........ooooh..

LAKJSDFLKSJL HONESTLY?!?! AND HWO DO YOU NOT KNOW TO PUT TWO PATTIES ON A DOUBLE MAC? OR DOUBLE QUARTER? SERIOUSLY?! MY GOSH. You're already slow, don't be dumbbbbb.
DOUBLE MEANS TWO.
GET WITH THE PROGRAM, IM SURE MY 7 YEAR OLD KNOWS HOW TO MAKE IT FASTER THAN YOU!
-.-

okays im done venting about my day.
PEACE OUT.

18 of 199 ..

2011-01-26T19:40:00.000-05:00

I swear there aren't enough hours in a day.
I have all 199 podcasts from Tiesto, and they're all almost an hour long.
I've been slacking the last .. week to two weeks? Or whenever i started ..

I'm at 18 of 199 just now. This one is a good one :)

36 DAYS TIL LADY GAGA CONCERT
& 75 DAYS TIL DJ TIESTO <3

Proud To Say!

2011-01-26T18:30:00.000-05:00

I'm proud to say that by tonight, I will be done my Non-Academic Requirements for Ryerson!
[x] list journalistic experience
[x] list other life experience
[x] approx 300 word essay on a journalistic piece that isn't my own that inspired me
[x] portfolio of maximum 6 items which was VERY limited & stressed the bajeezuz out of me

WOOT WOOT!
Sister is mailing it out for me tomorrow.

And Laurier still blocked me off that site from "too many log-in attempts" .. woops :s .. oh well.. LMAO..

Events Coming Up

English exam @ 9am tmw room 252.
Journalism assessment at Humber at 10am on Friday :s & work 4-10
Sunday night is the fam jam for chinese new year
Monday at 1pm is my philosophy exam
Tuesday at 10am is my dentist appointment ..

oh damnn :s

One of those nights where nothing I write, wants to turn out properly.

2011-01-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how one person can bring the best and the worst out in an individual. I love how care-free you can feel when you were in love, how all the worries don't seem to really matter anymore and how you can look at life in a positive way. It's an amazing feeling. A feeling that I miss so much words cannot describe. When I sit here, thinking, it really gets to me sometimes. It hurts to know that in my mind, i let you slip. We've never talked about us ever since so i guess thats why i get so weak in the knees when it comes to you. Knowing that you're ignoring me, kills me. I hope you know that. I sit here not knowing what you think at all. I'm literally hanging by moments. I hate how just at the thought of you, it breaks me. ..

I miss you, and I regret letting you slip. I don't care if that was 2 years ago, because the hurt still tags with me until this day.. I don't know what else to say.

SO thankful :)

2011-01-24T17:14:00.000-05:00

Shout out to the girls, the besties & my close ones!

Love each and every one of you, you know who you are.
My life wouldn't be complete without all of you.
I'm so thankful for having such true friends that have my back through everything.
And especially the trust, especially with these beats headphones LOL.

PS. you're not gonna get these back anytime soon :) I'm listening to them at home only so yeah :)

.. Headin' out to Rogers tonight i think with my sisters.
I also gotta get on that Ryerson Non-Academic Application too, put it together and such :)

I got my George Documentary today! It came in the mail! Teehee! Now to wait for the Japenese version of Believe <3 :) buahahaha. When I stepped foot onto the porch, I screamed :)

Some Writing Pieces

2011-01-20T22:27:00.001-05:00

March 2008
Have you ever found that place deep in your heart where you ride that emotional roller coaster? How your excited and happy about one thing but then some obstacle blocks you on your way up. Then the next thing you know you're falling all the way down, hitting rock bottom? Well, you're not alone riding that emotional roller coaster. So don't feel bad. I'm sure a lot of people are on the same ride as you throughout your lifetime.

When your stuck at the tallest point in your life,(or on that roller coaster) ready to break down and scream, don't worry because on your way up , theres bound to be a problem. So when there's a problem, you can fix it. Whether it takes weeks or months to complete.

Never give up on life. It's too short to be wasted on 'giving up'. This is your life. Don't spend too much time hitting rock bottom because every sixty seconds wasted, is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

People say you can start a new life. technically you can't because people will judge you. Stop that roller coaster and get off. take a different path. theres no need to start a new life, just end it differently.

Late in 2008 some day
How do you heal permanent heart breaks?
Can it be just as easy as taking and deleting? Or insert memory , remove and delete?

....Sometimes it feels like it has been only days when we met and never said a word to each other.
And some others, forever.
There is that empty feeling inside of me that feels like a stab in the heart,
a feeling i've gotten used to,
to the point that im not even sure if it's heartbreak
cuz i've felt it way too many times to even start a sentence.

How do people cure a permanent heartbreak, like this is always in my head its super glued,
ducted taped , screwed to my head, like a brick thrown at my head with permanent scars across your flawless face.
I wonder all the time, what do you think of me? Am i annoying, do you not want to talk or even the thought that you said you missed me too and do wanna see me. If you do mean it, why haven't you put any effort? It's always the "oh im busy, i dunno soon, or i have too much homework."

So if you claim your busy on weekdays, what about weekends?
But your probably too busy right?
Yeah i think so.

Why are they so hardheaded?
How do you deal with it?
Am i just plain stupid to think it could of happened again, or it could be something that is just there that life wants me to learn, to pass the time, to learn how to deal.
How.
How do can you heal severe heart damage?

April 2010
You know everything cant end like a happy ending so easily. Nothing in life is easy. You have to do what you gotta do. Cry if you gotta, vent if you need to. But after dropping you will feel the need to reach the top. You gotta work your way there. Go around every obstacle. And leave whatever behind, cause nothing is worth it til you get what you want.

2010
Stupid me for thinking you were different, but what was I thinking, no one ever is. It was just something about you that made me have hope that you wouldn't leave me, maybe it's the fact that we talked about people, the people we hated for leaving our lives. But look at you now, making me hate you more and more every day. You're just like every other one of them, walking away like I never meant anything to you. And maybe it's because you're too weak but I know what you've been through, you're probably the strongest person I know. Maybe it's because you thought you didn't need me anymore, but now you're falling apart. Face it, we both know you do. Maybe it's because you thought I didn't care, but remember I gave a fuck when no one else did, it's clear I cared too much. Or maybe it's because I don't know why, seeing how I wouldn't even know if you were alive anymore, because you've decided to leave me, leave me here miserable and trying to figure out why I hate the person I used to love the most. Well wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I just hope you're alright and living the life you were suppose to live with me.

2010
The thing with love is that we can't control who we fall for. We continue whether we are hurt or not because we try to strive for something we can't have. What happens when you've had enough, but your heart can't stop no matter how far you've lasted? Reality is, there's nothing you can really do.

Jan 2011
Woah, has 2 years really gone by? One moment we're happy together, the next we are pretending like we don't even know each other. Another time your missing me, but only once in awhile you do something about that. You message me, and we talk. The next your telling me you miss me, and that you'll wait to talk to me. Bam! You stop talking to me. Even though every time, in those slim chances I still manage to bump into you at that one station. Doesn't it even click into your brain? Its been so long but still not a big enough man to send me your own message. Are you serious? I'm done being the one that's trying to try. I'm done being the one even trying to attempt to talk to you. No more "chasing", I'd rather be chased. The days fell into years, and we still live in this pattern.
I love you. Its not the same anymore. I miss you. Its just as simple as that. We let each other slip through the cracks, and that's what hurts. There are things that are never spoken to anyone. Not to my sisters, not even to my best friends that I trust my life with. But everything is bound to get released one way or another right? Sometimes it hurts to think of what you did after, how could you go for her when you just finished telling me you truly loved me. If you didn't, don't lie to me. I hate liars. But was it a lie? I don't want to believe so, because whatever we had was true, and I'm not just saying that. What are the chances of me bumping into you, at the same station around the same spot when there are millions of others that I could be seeing. Tell me that.

Jan 2011
The days fell into years
And we still live in this pattern.
I love you.
Its not the same anymore.
I miss you.
Its just as simple as that.
We let each other slip through cracks
But what if I gave you my broken heart?
Would you piece it back together,
Or would you shatter what's left?
If I said I still loved you, and that I regret letting you slip, what would happen?

New Year, New Blog.

2011-01-20T20:59:00.001-05:00

Time for a new blog!
This blog is mainly for my writing pieces.

I went through my Facebook notes tonight and i found some old notes.

If i have different color for my writings in the same blog, they're different pieces :)